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Joke of the Day
"RSVP: yes no yes now but then no later on"
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"Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer? He's already got a Thor Axe."
"My friend's 6-year-old was being obnoxious. The mature thing to do was to tell him to settle down. I challenged him to a rap battle."
"Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?"
"We live in an age where mentioning you read a book seems a little bit like you're showing off."
"If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands."
"What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat? Synonym rolls"
"Just found where my wife hid my birthday present! How'd she know I wanted a one-way ticket to Miami with some guy named Rico?"
"I hate buying from cannibals it always costs an arm and a leg."
"What's gray and comes in quarts? An elephant"