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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken limp across the road? Because it was a lame joke."

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"

"I got some used paint In the shape of a house."

"I hope you like double meat, because Putin is about to go HAM on Turkey"

"One time, I solicited a midget hooker. I paid her fifty bucks to go up on me."

"When I was young, losing teeth would earn me money. Now I'm old, earning money will gain me teeth."

"Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 2-year-old: An eagle! I'm going to save so much money on college."

"Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire? A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it."