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Joke of the Day

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"I watched Cinderella backwards today..."

"Slept like a log last night..... Woke up in the fire place"

"Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching."

"The police came to my house earlier and said my dog had chased someone on a bike... I said, ""You must be joking, officer. My dog doesn't have a bike!"""

"The Ouija board spells out WHAT'S UP GAYLORD and I'm like is there really no one else in the spirit realm besides my grandma?"

"Wanna hear a joke? women's rights"

"Welcome to middle age, here's your card. You'll now have a favorite local weatherman and your elbows will never be pointy again."

"Text 'ANYTHING' to 'Any Number' to donate $5 to your service provider if you have no texting plan."

"Yo mama so stupid she went to Shop Rite And shopped wrong"