201850

Joke of the Day

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"How a brass instrument player reads a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Tu-ba or no tu-ba."

"How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything."

"I just got a great deal on a Ray Rice jersey The price couldn't be beat"

"Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses."

"What do vegan zombies eat? Grraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssss"

"Whilst having an argument with my wife about housework, she asked me to look at it from a woman's point of view ... So I looked out the kitchen window."

"Why are pirates pirates? Because they arrrre"

"SOME DUDE IN A LAB IS WORKING ON BRINGING THE PTERODACTYL BACK TO LIFE SO ENJOY THOSE EVENING STROLLS WHILE YOU CAN!"

"*Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*"