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Joke of the Day

"Everytime I text my new boss, his only response is FU! I should have expected it. They all told me he was a man of few words."

"[job int] ""Under skills u put 'not being afraid of pigeons'."" [nervously shifts in chair] ""That's right. Why? Do any pigeons work here?"""

"Didn't manage to catch any fish today... It was a failure."

"Why do black people like fried chicken? Because its delicious."

"Say what you want about Donald Trump... ...While you still can..."

"Why did Jesus quit playing hockey? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards"

"Two blondes are running for the highest office in the land Oh right, don't put the joke in the title. Sorry."

"[millipede preschool] head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes..."

"Why does Gru speak with an accent? Because he's Arminion."

"Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you."