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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes are running for the highest office in the land Oh right, don't put the joke in the title. Sorry."

"""Screw you, my face doesn't look like that at all"" - an actual duck."

"Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash. It was the left wing."

"I was watching the Grammys when something hit me my dad"

"My dad has a great idea for Donald Trump's campaign slogan. ""Vote for me in 2016 or there'll be hell toupee."""

"My thoughts and prayers go out to all those with super busy key chains today. With dolls and shit on them, and fistfuls of keys and whatnot."

"The US Presidential choice is now all about choosing between .... .....the one who was weak with E-mails and the one who was weak with Fe-males....!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA "

"If at first you don't succeed, you're assembling furniture from IKEA."

"What is the difference between homeless and vodka? Vodka does not freeze"

"My husband needed more space... So I locked him outside"