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Joke of the Day

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box."

"Why don't black people dream? The last black man to have a dream got shot."

"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!"

"What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that"

"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."

"So many girls look so cute and pretty when they cry then there's me where i look like a dying horse"

"A child was recently forced to write on the chalk board until he died He was sentenced to death"

"What was the dentist's horrific gastronomical invention? Tartar sauce."

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""

"I've snagged so many catfish on dating sites, I'm now a licensed fisherman."