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Joke of the Day

"Why don't black people dream? The last black man to have a dream got shot."

"Someone asked me if I used mustache wax. I said no, but it helps to have a runny nose."

"Wanna see an asshole wrapped in plastic? Yeah? Ok, let me see your driver's license. (My buddy's grandpa told me this back in high school the first time I met him.)"

"I heading to the beach and i'm going to sneak up from behind annoying couples who are watching the sunset, and pee all over them"

"70% of writing is writ"

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear"

"What's better than kiddie porno? Adult porno. Kiddie porn is gross, you sick fuck!"

"What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ? Santa pause !"

"Me: ""Goodnight Bed."" Bed: ""New foam who dis?"""