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Joke of the Day

"What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that"

"If Ursa Minor is made up of stars... is it safe to call it a Solar Bear?"

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots."

"I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check"

"How come Rhonda Rousey had a hard time making friends when she was younger? Because she was Holm schooled."

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."

"I just had Ebola cereal."

"What do you call a religious bird? A bird of prey."

"What is Joan of Arc's least favorite food? Steak"

"[at the gym] PERSONAL TRAINER: What kind of body do you want to have? ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human"