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Joke of the Day
"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."
Next Joke
"What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government? Altright, altright, altright"
"I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It's called ""What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"""
"When you assassinate, you make an ass out of ass innate."
"There are a billion people in China. Just think how many more there would be if the women had bigger tits."
"My new pickup line Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"What's the difference between OP and eggs? Eggs actually get laid."
"How many of you are household pets reading tweets while your owners nap?"
"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver!"
"Gf: why have you been googling 'can you milk a hamster' Me: *wipes milk from mouth* it was for a tweet"