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Joke of the Day
"I've snagged so many catfish on dating sites, I'm now a licensed fisherman."
Next Joke
"Just thinking. How many MILF'S are now GrandMILF's?"
"She asked if I thought she was a 10... ...I told her she's more like a 14, cause she's the most basic bitch I've ever met."
"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."
"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."""
"[in the woods] Me: *rescues a deer from a bear trap* Deer: I have a boyfriend"
"And this song would come on and all the white people would start having a group seizure. Me explaining the Harlem shake to my grand kids."
"wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]"
"Introducing new Beats by Chris Brown Now available in black and blue"
"My last girlfriend was a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody."