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Joke of the Day
"My throat hurts, so I better keep swallowing 50 times a minute to make sure it still hurts."
Next Joke
"One did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? The hallway stinks."
"My wife left me because she said I had a drinking problem After she left I lost the urge to drink."
"Ninety-sixing is how dyslexic people perform the sexual position where both partners are conducting oral sex on each other at the same time."
"You can make jokes about anything, just not mexicans That's crossing the border!"
"I passed a homeless guy who asked ""Any change!?"" I said ""Nope, your still dirty and homeless"". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me"
"Wife just got me a new tv for Christmas! Looks like my New Years resolution is 1080."
"Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop"
"I heard they came out with the new black transformer... His name is Optimus *Crime*"
"A distraught farmer asked a preacher what would happen if he killed a beaver who had begun working near the canal by his farm. ""Damned if you do, dammed if you don't."""