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Joke of the Day

"I passed a homeless guy who asked ""Any change!?"" I said ""Nope, your still dirty and homeless"". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me"

"Husband - ""When I die, i'd like to die having sex."" Wife - ""At least we know it'll be quick"""

"I will tell you a racist mexican joke in three, two, Juan..."

"What's the best rock to sleep on? bed rock"

"Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale!"

"Avoided a copay by having my annual physical at Antiques Roadshow. Clean bill of health, plus I found out I'm worth $150."

"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."

"Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I'll just be small and happy."

"Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler.... The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily ""give it to me!"""

"What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink? Serving dual porpoises!"