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Joke of the Day

"A distraught farmer asked a preacher what would happen if he killed a beaver who had begun working near the canal by his farm. ""Damned if you do, dammed if you don't."""

Next Joke
 
"My fave pickup line as a gay man... Hey, are you a vital organ? Because I don't think I can live without you inside of me."
"What is long, black and smelly? The unemployment line."
"I'm joining a cold war reenactment group. We get together on weekends and hide under desks."
"Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food."
"Whos the best jewish cook? Hitler......."
"A man spread his late wife's ashes on the lawn... ...so he could still cut her at least once a week."
"The writers for The Office have drifted out of touch with modern office life. Nobody is employed anymore."
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"
"Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom... ... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars."