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Joke of the Day
"My wife left me because she said I had a drinking problem After she left I lost the urge to drink."
Next Joke
"If I was ever on Jeopardy I would call Trebek the wrong name like I'd never heard of him. ""I'll take Beauty Pageants for 400, Jason."""
"What was the hardest part of being happy in the 1920's? Telling your parents you're gay."
"How did the blind priest find the choir boys? Satisfying."
"I went to the blacksmiths for a job interview He asked me ""have you ever shoed a horse before?"" I replied ""no, but i told a donkey to fuck off."""
"I hate trying to wipe my ass without my glasses on I can't see shit"
"What did one hat say to the other? ""You stay here, I'll go on ahead...."""
"Just accidentally zoomed so far out of a Word document that I saw the birth of the universe"
"What do post-impressionist painters sing when painting a Frozen landscape? Let it Gogh!"
"I need a car. Hiding in people's trunks and hoping they're going to Wal-Mart isn't working out for me."