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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of becoming a yoga instructor... but I know know how I'm going to support myself."

"Why do guitar amps hum? Because they don't know the words."

"I asked my friend in North Korea how he was doing. He said he can't complain."

"I'm 49 and my girlfriend is 5 months pregnant! What do you guys think we should do?"

"Someone asked me recently what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."

"My fish can breakdance. But only for five seconds, and only once."

"What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep ? A dinosnore !"

"What do you call a dwarf without a mouth? Short for words."

"Cat: Meow Me: Hi Cat: Meoww *picks up cat* Cat: Meowww *puts cat down* Cat: Meowwww *feeds cat* Cat: Meowwwww Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple."