209524

Joke of the Day

"I think the thing that really gets me hard is increased blood flow to my penis."

"I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me"

"A BLONDE'S BRAIN Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant."

"What's the difference between white time and black time (Warning. Dad joke) The size of their clock."

"Why is it when a house is haunted it's always a ghost from the 1700's? Imagine it being a ghost from 2007 screaming ""It's Britney Bitch"" at 3am"

"What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman can dodge a bullet."

"Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad descisions..."

"Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth... Its pasteurized before you even see it!"

"The Dirtiest Dad Joke Every time my dad drives by a Little Caesars Pizza he says ""5 dollars hot and ready....I used to know a girl like that"" he says it EVERY TIME and thinks he's hillarious"

"I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory.. ..after all the extra hours I put in."