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Joke of the Day

"MBA: A course that teaches you, how the world is financially screwing you over while financial screwing you over"

"what do you call a girl in Georgia that can outrun her brothers? A Virgin."

"Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession he takes a lawyer with him."

"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco."

"Knock Knock! **Knock Knock** Who's there? **Britney Spears** Britney Spears who? **Knock Knock** Who's there? **Oops I did it again!**"

"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"

"Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer? She fell in the sink!"

"How was my engagement the same as my divorce? In the end, I settled."

"To say Nirvana wasn't the most influential early 90s band would be... A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial..."