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Joke of the Day

"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"

"I dream of a day when my toddler can poop and the entire neighborhood doesn't have to hear her say she's done."

"A Completely Original Joke Oops, I forgot it son-of-a-b***h..!!!"

"What did the earthquake say to the tornado? It's not my fault."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Only Juan."

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool."

"Two chemists walk into a bar... Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second says, "" I'll have H2O too."" The second one dies."

"I like my women just like my wine 10 years old and locked in the cellar."

"Got the invite to your wedding. Thanks! Sadly, your blatant overuse of illegible, ornate script fonts means I don't know when or where it is"

"What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter Warning: Offensive Harry got out of the chamber."