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Joke of the Day
"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the biggest breakfast ever served? Back in the 1940's, some guy made over 6 million jews toast."
"Establish dominance by sitting close to the buffet and growling every time someone walks up to get food."
"I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high."
"""Sorry, I fail to see how I 'misled' you when my profile CLEARLY says I'm 'a total cat person'?"" - half-cat/half-person being after bad date"
"When an Eel bites your heel, and pain is all you feel... Thats a ""Moray"""
"Don't get cute with the live version of your song. We like the one on the album."
"If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment... ... can you justifiably call them ""a little tardy""?"
"I have 11 pictures of myself from high school. My daughter has 11 pictures of herself from this morning."
"At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something."