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Joke of the Day

"Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco."

"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors."

"""Were dining on the finest china tonight"" A Chinese man then walks in and lays down on your table"

"What's black and doesn't work? [Very NSFW] Bryce Williams' sense of perspective."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted? He was outstanding in his field..."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Do you think I'm pretty"

"Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ? It was a moth ball !"

"Silver and Lead are sitting in a bar when Gold walks in ... Silver yells ""AU get outta here"""

"A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke."

"When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life."