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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to get a dime-sized spider tattooed on my penis. It's the only way I can get women to shout ""Oh my God it's huge!"" when they see my dick."

"OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]"

"Why is there no phone books in china? Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number."

"I walked into my sisters room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Stolen ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^from ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Last ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^us"

"50 Great Jokes From The Edinburgh Fringe"

"i read everything in comic sans sans. this way it's funny."

"What do you have when life gives you melons? Dyslexia."

"""Did you ever try my hot salty water?"" - Inventor of soup"

"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"

"I quit my job at the helium factory today I won't stand to be spoke to in that tone of voice"