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Joke of the Day

"Why is there no phone books in china? Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number."

"When I was a child, I was raped by a group of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me."

"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."

"what was wrong with the air? the swine flu"

"You're going to regret thinking of this. Game!"

"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision"

"Call me old-fashioned, but marriage should be about a man aligning forces with a trusted ally to consolidate power & destroy common enemies"

"Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles."

"If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men? Palm Sunday. First time posting, please be gentle."

"Today I found Jesus in my life. Let me tell you about him. He is tan with a thick black mustache, and eyes so brown they make your soul melt. He is my gardner, the best I have ever employed."