111820

Joke of the Day

"Why do people looking for motivational seminars and people attending bodybuilding competitions keep accidentally going to each other's events? They both want personal growth."

"If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do."

"I have got my own private jet, my wife owns rest of the hottub though."

"""Fine, I'm sorry, you win, just, please stop crying."" - my rap battle opponent"

"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."

"My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and ADHD. Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane."

"How do you get the drummer off your front porch? Pay for the pizza."

"I too went to the reddit restaurant... I had to ask other customers for sauce for any of the dishes."

"A hot chick asked me what was the difference between sex and conversation. I said ""let's lie down and talk about it"""

"Do not squander your short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Instead, try to get laid a lot."