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Joke of the Day

"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."

"A set of jump leads walk into a bar... The barman looks at them, and says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, just don't start anything."""

"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."

"My birthday is coming up and I'm mostly just anxious about all the people on Facebook who are about to pretend to like me."

"My fencing teacher must've been a redditor He kept shouting 'That's a riposte! That's a riposte!'"

"What will be written on the gates of Donald Trump's wall between Mexico and the US? Arbeit macht Frei."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to homecoming? because he had no body to go with"

"Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia? He fiddled up a little kid."

"WARNING Drinking before pregnancy can cause pregnancy."

"this guy was disemboweled? wel i guess u coud say *fumbles w/ shades and drops them in body* no ewww i droped my sunglases in the guts noooo"