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Joke of the Day

"The definition of trust. Whats the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"[Job interview] Me: [thinking] I hope he doesn't notice the mustard on my shirt Interviewer: [thinking] Is he eating a fkn hotdog?"

"I have a step stool... I never knew my real stool."

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."

"why did helen keller masturbate with one hand? so she could moan with the other..."

"Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione? Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch"

"Need help with a joke!!! Not sure if this is allowed, but I need a joke that involves the word ""statesmen"" for a contest with my friends. Please help!"

"As kid, It was always easy to find the black kids on the playground... They were always hanging around the monkey bars."

"Did you know there is one colour that can time travel? It can only go to the fuchsia."

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor."