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Joke of the Day

"When is an aardvark jumpy? When he's got ants in his pants!"

"What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints? You want flies with that?"

"""People want to drink a panic attack."" -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy"

"Time for a joke. ""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Well, why don't you ask your sister?"" ""But I don't have a..."""

"Neighbour: Haven't I seen you on TV? Actor: Well I do appear on and off you know. How do you like me? Neighbour: Off."

"Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city? He was running out of patients."

"The comment threads on YouTube are the trailer parks of the Internet."

"There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you."

"Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day."

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."