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Joke of the Day

"Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I dunno, but the real question is how'd they get in there in the first place?"

"What do the Mafia and vaginas have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"Me: we're throwing a surprise party for Tim Wife: don't you hate Tim? Me: [filling balloons with bees] yes"

"Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence? Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault."

"a disability, a curse word and a radical interpretation of scripture walk into a bar nothing happened welcome to /r/cleanjokes"

"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"

"A day without sunshine is like, well, night."

"When I see battlestar gallactica, I feel this! Cylons are bunch of mean girls."

"Thought it would be romantic to recreate the 12 Days of Christmas, but having 23 game birds indoors is actually a hellish nightmare."