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Joke of the Day

"Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it."

"A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time."

"What's the difference between jokes and pussy? I don't fucking get jokes."

"How do Alaska CB radio operators say ""10-4""? ""5-5-2-2."""

"What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper? ""Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."""

"*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go."

"I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself."

"""Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow?"" ""No it's not. Here, try!"""

"Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dining room, patio..."

"*travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want"