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Joke of the Day

"What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper? ""Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."""

"What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend? Auschwitz"

"What's the difference between Prince and a White Dwarf? Nothing, they're both dead stars."

"Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires."

"Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster."

"I asked my best friend if he was gay or not. I never got a straight answer."

"Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom? Their P is silent."

"I breathed a sigh of relief when I typed the letter ""y""... ...when I had to type ""analytics"" into the search bar during a presentation at work."

"How do you spell that? t-h-a-t"

"Siri is the only girl that answers my questions without having to ask why.."