205724

Joke of the Day

"*travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want"

"Imagine getting the girl of your dreams phone number and her first text to you she spells it ""definately"""

"What do you call a teacher that's always late? Mr. Bus (think about it)"

"What does a duck say when it goes to the doctor? Quack"

"If I die before I wake, please convince mom this twitter account is fake. Amen."

"What did Spock find in the toilet? The captains log!"

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working. I'm going to my mom's house."" I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?"

"I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag."

"It's a dangerous world out there. Two peanuts are walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was shelled."

"What noise does a homosexual horse make? Geigh"