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Joke of the Day

"""Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow?"" ""No it's not. Here, try!"""

"I love walking around the house naked. Damn neighbors keep complaining. They think I should do it in the house."

"How do you titallate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"If you met an eel in a top hat... ...that would be Sir Eel. (say it out loud)"

"ISIS new way of recruitment ISIS leader posted a job offer for new workers : "" Need somebody with a head on his shoulders """

"joke of the day A man tells his friend, ""My wife is an angel."" His friend replies, ""Lucky you. Mine's still alive."""

"What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal? Luckily Charms"

"Jews rated their trip to Auschwitz: ##**They all gave it one star.**"

"I want to work in salon.. So I can get paid to give facials"

"Fun game: Select all of your Snapchat contacts and send them a text that says... ""Wow...Are you sure that was for me?"" And wait."