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Joke of the Day

"yo mama is so fat you could use her belly button as a wishing well..."

"A feminist asked me how I saw lesbians. Apparently *in HD* wasn't the right answer."

"[shopping for make-up] ""Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?"" ""I know exactly what you need."" [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]"

"Minimalism... It's the least you can do."

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"Yo momma is like a brick! She's flat, heavy, and gets laid by Mexicans all day!"

"Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia? It's Mike's Thai Son."

"TIFU No, literally. Your girl was on my lap. That's the only time I fuck up."

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach Even with butter, children don't like it."

"What do vegetarian zombies eat ? terri schiavo"