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Joke of the Day

"Lincoln was known for his signature look; stovepipe hat, chinstrap beard, fingerless driving gloves, Jordans, shirt with Ferrari logo on it"

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."

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"Then they came for the bins, and I did not speak out, because I was not a bin man, and they were, and that was their job."

"I won the drowning competition. Wanna know my secret? Well, don't hold your breath!"

"Can't imagine what's it like to have no imagination."

"How do you become president of Russia? You gotta Put-in the hours"

"Q: What kind of pizza do pilots like? A: Plain."

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday"

"I walk around with a hockey bag filled with dildos & chihuahua's just in case Paris Hilton fires her assistant and is looking for a new one."