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Joke of the Day

"What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common? They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums."

"I have an L shaped couch... lower case."

"The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape North Korea's long range missiles."

"Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card."

"A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world."

"Jokes are like topsoil I make my own, but it's mostly recycled shit."

"I wanna be rich enough to have 11 midgets who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast"

"What did the man say when he got his dancing robot to work? ""It twerks!"" I don't know how this came to me.."

"All cicadas must be female because they never shut the fuck up."