108423

Joke of the Day

"""LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!"" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom."

"Why does Reddit hate Fencing? Ripostes"

"My friend got a rash from some suntan lotion he was using. He wanted to sue the company for billions. He was being irrational."

"I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books."

"I had a great conversation with the world's leading brain surgeon.. Best cab ride ever"

"*Nerdy guys phone rings* JOCK: ""Who was that, your girlfriend?"" *Everyone laughs* NERD: ""Nope. It was yours."" *Dead silence*"

"A man goes to his doctor The doctor says ""Sir, you have HIV"", the man responds ""Wow, you can't even trust your own kids these days!""."

"Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant-aloupe"

"What if sharks hug with their mouths? Just sayin."

"Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon"