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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record."

"Those Weren't Raisinets: A Mouse Tale"

"*Sat talking to a girl at a bar* Brain: Compliment her perfume, nicely. Me: I AM SMELLING YOU Brain: Why do you hate me?"

"Superbowl Champion Minnesota Vikings"

"An old Jewish man asked me for directions. I didn't really care where he was going, so I told him it was straight on until the third reich."

"Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question."

"Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land? Because they really wanted a third's eye view!"

"You can't set out a bowl full of superconductors and expect people not to take them. They're irresistible."

"I usually like to go fishing... Just for the halibut"

"What is Kylo Ren's favorite beverage? Supreme Liter Coke"