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Joke of the Day

"every night i whisper a hater's name into the wind and the wind whispers back, ""they just jealous... """

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog... You know more about it, but now the frog is dead."

"You texted ""SORRY"" followed by six ""!""s, and seven was the minimum I was looking for so... apology not accepted"

"A midget psychic broke out of prison. Now there's a small medium at large."

"You know you masturbate too much when... both hands pretend to be asleep."

"Eli5: how preventing users from submitting anything to subs helps anything."

"A Priest walks in to a hotel to check in... And he asks the clerk at the front desk, ""Is the pornography disabled in my room?"" The clerk responds, ""No, it's regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"I think I wasted my 15 minutes of fame trying to save money on car insurance."

"I like to write ""Wake Up"" on my To-Do list so I can start the day off accomplishing something."

"If I could be indestructible for a day, its scary how many sharks I'd make out with."