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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a cannibal decides to go vegan? They start eating vegetables."

"""Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I know you're asleep but I just wanted to let you know that I'm like 14 miles away from your house right now!"" -Trains"

"If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours."

"Q: What's another name for the ""Intel Inside"" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label."

"My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her"

"Just had a very thorough pat-down by a TSA agent. Now he wants to talk about my feelings, but I'm soooo sleepy."

"what's a pirate comedian's favorite reddit? aaaarrrrrrrr/jokes"

"Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, ""hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around"". The second cow says, ""I don't care, I'm a submarine!""."

"What happened when Harry Potter had sex with a pig? He got hog warts."

"What would I be if I were twice myself? a meme."