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Joke of the Day

"Just had a very thorough pat-down by a TSA agent. Now he wants to talk about my feelings, but I'm soooo sleepy."

"Don't get me started on trigonometry... I'll go on a tangent."

"How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor"

"People are like lottery tickets. You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time."

"Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually."

"Jenner If Bruce(now) Caitlyn Jenner is kidnapped, do they put his picture on the side of a half & half bottle?"

"Why do french people love to eat snails? Because they can't stand fast food"

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."

"How do you keep a idiot occupied? I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer."

"I think about wizards and dragons way more than a wizard of 3 small dragons should. Dammit I meant mother of 3 small dragons. Dammit I meant"