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Joke of the Day

"As a man in his 70s I still manage to have sex with my wife almost every day... Almost Monday, almost Tuesday...."

"Hey guy's I'm the titanic I would like to nominate all of my passengers and crew to do the ALS ice bucket challenge, you have 24 hours!"

"Nightmare scenario: a man with the confidence of Pitbull and the talent level of Pitbull."

"They only arrested Justin Bieber cause he's black."

"I got into a car accident with a midget... He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, ""I'm NOT happy!"" ""Well,"" I replied, ""which one are you?"""

"So a guy named Steve asked how well he did during making an Apple product. ""You did good Job!"" Sad the person he asked."

"I'm sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn't really prepared for any follow-up conversation."

"What do you call 5 black guys on a stage? An auction"

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back & mess with myself. I'd delete and retweet frog my tweets monkey with random words giraffe inserted."

"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"