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Joke of the Day

"NEW YEAR'S LOGIC 1. The planet is passing through an arbitrary spot on its unceasing orbit around the sun. 2. Time to lay off chocolate."

"What is atheism? A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word ""religion"" with ""set of beliefs"" if you're picky about that sort of thing"

"""Mommy, Mommy - I hate walking around in circles!"" ""Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor..."""

"I've never smoked weed before but the frequency with which I pass out, hand in a bag of snack chips, leads me to believe I'd be good at it."

"3 guys walk into a bar... ... the fourth one ducks."

"My Gladiator DVD stopped working... Talk about an *epic* fail."

"What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence? Fresh prints."

"How do you know when you're turning 40? When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh"

"Thanks to ringtones, I now associate all my favorite songs with the annoyance and dread of being interrupted and having to talk to somebody."

"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."