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Joke of the Day

"What does my penis have in common with JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America? They are all too Big To Fail."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito Go away sucker!"

"I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix... I mean, I've seen Stranger Things."

"Why can't you trust a person with two butts? Because they're bi-assed."

"COP: put ur hands in the air ME: ok C: now flip them over M: k? C: now cross them M: what C: put them behind ur head M: why- C: hey macarena"

"I like to nickname my penis Buzz Lightyear Because he likes to travel to the star and beyond"

"Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle."

"What breathes out but never in? Your asshole"

"What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick."

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"