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Joke of the Day

"So I went into the kitchen... ...because I could hear "" 1, 2, 3, 4, ..."" coming from the cutlery drawer. Apparently it's the fork that counts."

Next Joke
 
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby EDIT: Holy shit my first front page! Also RIP inbox"
"Bechdel test Two women walk into a bar, one says ""you heard of the Bechdel test?"", the other: ""yeah my boyfriend told me about it the other day..."""
"Thank God there are no Bible verses shorter than 140 characters."
"HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!"
"A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused."
"'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is getting a sequel How to lose friends and alienate people."
"Thank God football is back on. I've been watching baseball for months and it's only the 7th inning."
"In light of Wednesday in Texas Talk about a clock block."
"Typographers will appreciate this Stereotype"