74178

Joke of the Day

"This year I'm the Invisible Man for Halloween, according to this bartender that apparently hasn't seen me standing here for an hour"

"1) Put on chicken costume 2) Go to store to pick up eggs 3) Run up to store manager and emotionally scream ""WHO DID THIS TO MY CHILDREN????"""

"ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say"

"What is Trumps favorite movie? Minority Report."

"Today I'm cancer free! And all the days before that, but it still counts."

"I heard a joke about the swiss the other day But the punch line was too cheesy to repeat."

"Why did Beethoven hate Mozart? Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach."

"Catch 22: I bought a protein shake but am not strong enough to twist the cap off."

"I cannot walk on water, But I can wobble on whisky."

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby."