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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives"

"Did you hear about the Anorexic Jedi? She had to be force fed."

"WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY."

"My therapist told me that if ignorance is bliss, there's no reason for me to be on antidepressants."

"Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans"

"Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !"

"They say it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So, I say exercise your face... Get married and have teenage children. You will be frowning more than you imagined."

"Three maxi pads walk up to a bar... ...a large, medium and a small one. Which one is the first to say something to the bartender? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts."

"You know what's odd? Numbers that are not divisible by 2"

"I tried write a joke about the Zika virus... [OC] ...but couldn't come up with anything off the top of my head."