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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives"

"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."

"Get a slab of bread dough. Wrap dental floss around it. Congratulations, you've seen me naked."

"What did Einstein eat as a baby? Formula!"

"What does Monica Lewinsky say to call her dog over? ""Come, spot!"""

"When I was a kid my mother stopped breast feeding me. I asked her why and she says ""hey, I just wanna be friends."""

"judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence"

"Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang."

"How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!"

"Why are there no good jokes about engineers? zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline."