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Joke of the Day

"A group of deer... .. go to a party. The next day, one deer says to the other ""Wow, that was a pretty crazy party."" the other deer replies, ""You're telling me. I blew 50 bucks!"""

"They say acid is a gateway drug.. But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!"

"What do a guy crossing Niagara falls on a tight rope and a guy getting a blowjob from a 90 year old have in common? Both are thinking don't look down, just don't look down."

"We shouldn't be donating money to 'Doctors without Borders' We should donate borders instead"

"What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb? If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner."

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator"

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."

"What do asparagus and anal sex have in common? The more it's forced on you as a child, the more you dislike it as an adult."

"5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving oral sex. * 1% liked the warmth * 2% liked the sensation * 3% liked the eroticism * 94% just liked the peace and quiet"

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That rose's name? Albert Einstein."