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Joke of the Day

"5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving oral sex. * 1% liked the warmth * 2% liked the sensation * 3% liked the eroticism * 94% just liked the peace and quiet"

"Never serve bad food at a bris Otherwise the rabbi won't leave a tip"

"YO MAMA SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDESHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON."

"Saw my ex-gf being beaten up by 4 guys, so as a human being I had to step in and help.. She didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us"

"The 3 tragedies. The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1) Life sucks. 2) Job sucks. 3) Wife doesn't."

"Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza? Because he's shellfish!"

"My girlfriend is always hooking, ending up elbow deep in a bush because she swings both ways She's a terrible golfer"

"Yesterday it was so hot that my gun started overheating. It was sweating bullets."

"This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder... and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name? The guy says, ""Tiny, because he's minute"""

"When I have a daughter I'm naming her Leroy. No guy will ever say ""Yo bro I hooked up with Leroy last night"" how would that sound?"