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Joke of the Day

"They say acid is a gateway drug.. But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!"

"""I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"""

"What's an 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends!"

"Women Odors A man walks up to a woman and says ""Excuse me, can I smell your pussy?"" She says ""no"" He says ""Oh, then it must be your socks"""

"Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. ""Wait! What if I have to poop?"" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* ""Thanks I feel better."""

"Why are London buses red? Because they have to come every 10 minutes"

"How many sperm cells do virgins have at any given time? Ohh.. About a handful."

"I'm getting engaged next month. Not because I'm in love but because it's gonna look dope on Instagram."

"What's the best thing about being a female mime? There's no glass ceiling"

"What does a fish say when it hits a brick wall? DAM!!!"