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Joke of the Day

"While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth I consumed consumption."

"What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp? Well, that was an unexpected twist!"

"If you ever see me cleaning out my car in the middle of winter, it's because I have drugs missing."

"After placing me in charge of training new employees I can't help but question my companies' commitment to success."

"What kind of socks do you find in your backyard? Garden hose."

"I have a ""Knock Knock"" joke but you have to start it off."

"First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh what did you have done? First witch: Nothing I was just going in for an estimate."

"5 out of 5 coworkers think I should be wearing pants. All of them are from HR though, and who knew they could get to my cubicle that fast."

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"Why would it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only chick that sits on your face is your mother"