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Joke of the Day

"First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh what did you have done? First witch: Nothing I was just going in for an estimate."

"My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much.."

"why didn't jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato."

"What is the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke"

"Hungry? The hell with a snickers. Look to her cleavage, you'll find at least two snacks there and maybe some stray popcorn."

"Two men are pissing off a bridge. ""Water's cold"" says one. ""And deep."" says the other."

"Stop saying ""11/11/11"" only happens once in a lifetime. EVERY date only happens once in a lifetime. That's how time works."

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."

"I'm worried about the calendar... Its days are numbered"

"4/20. Always forget."